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I \[20sF\] have been working with my boss \[late 40s F\] for about a year and a half now. We didn’t meet in person until about 4 months ago as our jobs are remote and we are based in different cities, but we always had great rapport. I looked up to her and considered her a mentor. NGL, as a lesbian I also had a little crush on her which I 100% never expected to act on because she’s my boss and also married to a man so didn’t figure there was any possibility of her being into me anyway
Anyway, 4 months ago we went to a conference. There was a lot of chemistry between us but again I didn’t think too much of it for the above reasons. The last night of the conference we had a team dinner where we both a bit to drink and long story short, at the end of the night we were chatting just the two of us outside the hotel and she tried to kiss me. I immediately backed off like, “Woah!” and told her I’m sorry if she misread things but she is married and I don’t think this is a good idea. She apologized. It was very awkward although I tried to play it cool. I didn’t see her the next day as we both flew home.
Anyway, ever since then she has completely started excluding me from work assignments and meetings. I used to be basically her right hand man, now she schedules most of the meetings without me and doesn’t add me on CC to emails so I can’t participate. Any work she does give me is unimportant and uninteresting. It definitely feels like she’s punishing me. I requested two separate meetings to tell her that I needed more work and asking how I could better support the team on various projects we’re working on (tried to play it like she must just not have noticed that I’ve been less busy recently) and she gave various excuses why she’s assigned other team members to lead these projects. She promised she would find more for me to do but has yet to do so. I’ve offered to support on a few things I know my team members are busy with, but again excuses about why I can’t be added to the project.
It’s kind of hard to discuss this with other colleagues since we’re all remote so it’s not like I can casually bring it up in conversation (our meetings we just talk about work, and it’s always in larger groups). I’ve never met any of them and don’t feel comfortable enough in our relationship to reach out and ask what they think of this situation.
I don’t know what to do. This feels like retaliation but I have no evidence of anything. She is highly respected and regarded in our company and I don’t think anyone would believe me if I told them about the kiss attempt. Do I just have to accept that this is the end of my time at this company and it’s time to job hunt? Any advice of what I could do? Would really appreciate the perspective of an outsider here.
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