23yo with a degree in com science. I panic everytime I see a few lines of code. Any advice on how I can get over it?

Hello all! I am 23F, living in SG, with a degree in com science and is currently working as a software developer. This is mybfirst job and I’m completeing 1 yr of service in 2 weeks time. We use a low code platform called Mendix so I find it quite fun as it doesn’t require me to write much code. However, recently, I have been asked to do React as well and it’s freaking me out. I have done little bit of React before but everytime I have to start on a new React project, I panic like crazy. Idk where to start from, all the different syntaxes….I really dk what it is but it triggers some anxiety in my brain and then I become frozen.

Just a little back story: When I was introduced to coding for the first time in 1st year of uni, I had found it interesting as it was like solving a puzzle and getting the right output was always satisfying. This was why I had decided to specialise in this field in yr 2. However, somewhere along the way, I lost track of what was going on. I hated the coding exams as it gave me anxiety. My ears would become really sensitive to the sound of the other students typing on their laptop and I would just blank out and leave the exams, barely having answered one question.

My bf, who has been with me since first year of uni believes that I have developed a phobia of code, which is the reason why I feel the way I do whenever I am expected to write or read code. My contract with my currently company is ending so I am looking for a new job. I would definitely prefer to work on a low code platform again…however, there isn’t much vacancies for that in SG. Most of the open software dev roles requires lots of coding and I need a job as I have student debt to pay off. I don’t know want to do. With my current state of kind regarding code, I will not be able to survive in a role where I have to write lines and lines of code.

I really want to overcome this phobia of code but I don’t know where to start from or how to do it. Any advice on how I can overcome this situation I am in?



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