Extreme burnout/mental health crisis – do I quit a great job or power through?

(I’m in Canada) Without going into too much detail, I have experienced significant life changes and stresses within the past single year. I am 23(F). I have already had mental health struggles my whole life, but honestly nothing as bad as this crisis. I am so burnt out in every area of my life. This includes:

Sudden and traumatic death of mother who was killed by someone else, for which I carry the responsibility of estate/police/court/lawyer/admin duties for my family, which I will have to deal with over the next 2 years.

Break-up with long-term boyfriend of 3-4 years, of whom I lived with and shared a pet with. I’ve since had to move back into my dad’s place, and this is not the best place for me to live in for my mental health.

First “real job” after graduating university, working 40 hours a week from home.

Over the last year, my soul, spirit, physical and mental health have declined significantly.I have severe PTSD. I am living in a state of constant freeze, brain fog, body aches and pains, anxiety, depression, low self worth and self hatred. I haven’t slept in months. Each day does not feel real. I am so numb and am using unhealthy coping mechanisms (isolating myself, nicotine, compulsive overeating, disordered eating).

Work performance is declining. The daily tasks like opening an email and checking work messages feel overwhelming. Then I feel bad about myself because I know I am a hardworking, kind, and caring employee with a lot of potential, and I’m not able to attain it. Now I’m worried I won’t do a good enough job and perform as well, and I’ll be cut.

Physical health is very poor. I lost my period. I don’t sleep. I don’t feel hunger or fullness cues. I am truly just existing.

In terms of work, I am extremely satisfied with this role. I have a great team, supportive mentorship, a good salary, I am interested and passionate about the work I do (IT support at a tech startup), and have the flexibility to work from home or from wherever.

I don’t think I can find a better job elsewhere. Truthfully, I don’t want to quit due to this. But I am really miserable due to my life and health circumstances. I just want a month off to absolutely nothing and return, but it’s not possible with the limited time off I have left. I worry that if I quit, it might actually be worse for me (less sense of life direction, purpose, “too much free time” to ruminate). I also NEED the benefits for me to receive treatment like acupuncture and therapy. I started this role in March, so I’ve only been working here for 6 months.

I have been doing my best to:Up my self-care (journaling, exercising, meditating, eating healthy when not disordered)Make wellness appointments for myself like therapy and acupuncturePractice self-love and self-acceptance and positivity, etc.

I know I have a LOT of work to do in terms of healing my mental, physical, and spiritual health. I know that I am a hardworking, kind, and good person who is capable of success in her career, but I am struggling to make it through the end of each day. I don’t know what to do at this point. I really don’t. I would love any insights, personal stories, support, etc.

Thanks everyone 🙂

View Reddit by tooth7000View Source