Tl:Dr; at the end.
As the title states – I’ve been in tech and infosec for 18yrs. The past few years I’ve worked under a new manager and director, who, both of which couldn’t be more inept at the human component of work. First time in my career to ever experience such fuckery.
I won’t elaborate on their boosheet, just know that the actions of these 2 men have greatly impacted my health- physical and mental, destroyed my self confidence and my job that I once loved. I mean LOVED.
I AM that nerd who gets super excited for code feature releases that make my job easier, more fun or more interesting. More specifically I’ve been told there is a sweet child like wonder/curiosity and deep engagement in my work – which makes me good at my job. Highly detailed, frequently juggling many projects, support work, and keeping abreast of new threats or tech.
My last role hired 3 contractors just to back fill for me. This one is bound to be the same, no doubt. I am usually a happy workhorse when treated well – with respect, dignity and some freedom to just get my damn work done. It gives me some sense of accomplishment and purpose going above and beyond.
Regardless – things have turned sour under these 2 as my superiors. As a woman, I’ve been asked to follow conpany process to deal with their demeaning and demoralizing behaviors. I did so unwillingly, bc I know how this is going to turn out for me. The freezing out, ostracized, etc. This entire situation has Killed my self confidence. I’ve never felt on eggshells more in my life and all I did was stand my ground.
The point here is – even if HR does the right things by me as a human(unlikely, it’s a business), the EEOC and other applicable laws–, that won’t do much for the damage they’ve already done, now will it?
The problem is this – I kinda don’t care anymore…..about the work. The tech. Everything I loved before. I want to, but These circumstances have broken my interest and engagement, and quite frankly yes have caused a great deal of anxiety and depression. The days I am working without them as active obstacles preventing me from completing my tasks or just without dealing with them at all – are fan-fucking-tastic. LOVE those days. I get so much done, by the book, paperwork all done, i’s dotted, t’s crossed, twxh work configured and working usually on the first or second try 😂. I rock that shit.
Even still…..I don’t know that my level of interest and desire to continue on this path can be repaired after this experience, even after 18yrs in the field – Literally have no idea what else I would do for a career?
What could I pivot to from here with a background in networking, security and randomly – real estate (thanks adhd).
Is there some sort of position out there that combines the 3, that would allow me to continue at or above the salary I make now?
Or maybe something in real estate that I could lean on? I’m great with power tools, own all my own and the utilitarian vehicle required to do that work. That stuff is so fun.
It just feels so saddening to leave behind everything I worked so hard for, and not having anything new on the horizon….making me feel quite lost. Being the lone woman for SO damn long, and having so few women to lean on now even – I leave my concerns to you dear reddit. It’s 6am, please be gentle.
To be clear- I have maintained the same level of work badassery, workhorse juggling, and getting shit done. Momma didn’t raise no slacka. But booyyyyyy do I want to do the “quiet quitting” = i.e. only what’s in my job description, just to see how they’d respond.
TL:DR; experienced career in tech and infosec, tainted by 2 inept managers who’ve found a magical way to smash my IDGAF button. Can’t figure out how to start giving a fuck again, so considering a career pivot — but to what? What option is there with this eclectic lineup?